


light at the end of the tunnel

by chidodi



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gore, Possible Fluff, Possible Rape, Violence, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 09:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3284897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chidodi/pseuds/chidodi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Natasha go to find a HYDRA hideout in the forests of Switzerland that apparently houses a "vessel" that is somehow connected to Bucky and might lead Steve to find his long lost friend.<br/>What is the vessel and what is it to the winter soldier?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> working on this chapter by chapter :) please let me know if you like it

The darkness surrounded Steve he vaguely felt the cold nipping at him, he reached up to rub his nose,  
“It’s probably bright red by now” he thought to himself. He looked out through the snow covered forest to the facility ahead. There were some lights on, Steve wondered what was in there...Stark had traced a lot of HYDRA money here and some communications from Peirce to some unknown persons inside the facility. Whatever was in there was connected somehow to Bucky and was being called the “vessel”…vessel for what?  
“fzzzt” the com in his ear let put a bit of static Steve readied himself waiting for Natasha to give him the go ahead.  
“Ready cap?” came the red heads voice he strained his muscles the cold now completely forgotten.  
“Yeah I’m ready when you are.” He replied quietly his breath came fast waiting for her to--  
“GO” Natasha roared through the com he took off running towards the lights in the distance.

Steve was surprised to find very few guards on duty only ten Natasha was also not finding much resistance either. Steve moved forwards through some swinging doors and into a hallway that was painted an egg shell white.  
“Cap this place looks like a hospital” Natasha’s voice mirrored his observation. He walked along the hall looking into the windows, empty hospital rooms with empty beds and what looked like stocked laboratories with bubbling liquid.  
“Banner might want to check this place out” he intoned through the mic.  
“Yeah….I….was thinking the same thing” Natasha answered obviously taking out another Guard  
Steve rounded a corridor to find it ended in a locked wing with a hallway taking off to the side he could see Natasha walking towards him dragging a body.  
“Fancy seeing you here” she quipped her voice low. She threw the man at Steve’s feet; the man was shaking his white hair and wrinkled neck were all Steve could see beyond his oversized pristine white lab coat.  
Natasha leaned down and said quietly in the man’s ear- “I’m sure you know who I am and I’m sure you know who I work for-“she paused for added effect “if you tell me what the vessel is and its relationship to the winter soldier I won’t kill you” she whispered the last part a smile on her face and stood up.  
The man looked and them and laughed quietly “I’ll tell you nothing you’ll –“Natasha slammed his head with the butt of her gun and took a key from around the man’s neck one Steve hadn’t even noticed.  
“Worth a try, bet this key goes to that door” she said waving it while walking to the door.  
“It’s dangerous” Steve said uneasy “we don’t know what’s in there”  
She’d already unlocked the door while he fretted and was motioning him in.  
“We need to find your friend this is our best lead c’mon” she said it so urgently. Steve knew, he understood all the other leads had been dead ends all of them had turned up empty this was the only chance he had right now so far this was his only way.  
He shrugged and entered the swinging door Natasha was holding for him.


	2. chapter 2: Project vessel

They entered a singular hall, there were not doors from either side, as soon as he entered the hallway he could hear a faint noise he looked at Natasha and motioned his hand to his ear reaching for the small hand gun holstered against the outside of his thigh while simultaneously grabbing his shield off his back. Natasha had grabbed two guns from the holster on her waist and silently checked the ammo, looking at him she gave him a silent OK and they moved forward creeping along the corridor.  
As they walked they saw a light shining through two rectangular spots at what seemed to be eye level. Steve could also now decipher the sound he heard earlier as a voice a female voice? Possibly.  
He caught his companion’s attention and signed that it was a voice by putting his hands at his mouth and mouthing female. Natasha nodded Steve wasn’t good with the signing but she picked it up well enough she was after all the black widow. As they approached the voice became most obviously that of a young female. Soon enough they were at the doors, examining them they were once again hospital like two swinging doors with small rectangular windows. These doors were thicker and sturdier looking with three pad locks securing them shut on top of the two large sliding bars along the top and bottom of the double doors. There were papers in a built in folder on the wall and a small key that must go to the three pad locks.  
Obviously the facility wasn’t worried about keeping people out of the room, just keeping what or whoever was in there from getting out.  
There was singing from the other side of the door it sounded like Russian to Steve thats what he had been hearing all along he guessed. He pushed it out of his thoughts that could be delt with later.he leaned closer as Natasha took the files and moved in to Steve mouthing the words on the files cover “project vessel” they were in the right place alright. The file was full of documents; there were formulas, what looked like break downs of DNA sequences, descriptions of experiments and grainy black and white pictures of a girl in different stages of growth. Natasha pointed to a phrase on the last page of the file pulling Steve to look at it. 

“Though her unwillingness to cooperate it is expected the vessel will produce results when re-introduced to the winter soldier, it is expected she will fulfill her purposes and become more docile when they are again together.”  
Steve looked up at his red haired counterpart in shock; project vessel was a girl, a girl whom had met Bucky a girl who might know where he is.  
Then they heard the voice quiet on the other side of the door, then stop after a pause an audible thump could be heard and the voice again. This time speaking slightly accented English:  
“I hear you and I’m ready for you this time vy ublyudki*”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *vy ublyudki = you bastards  
> ^ sorry if thats wrong i'm using a translator so let me know the correct way to type it if you know and ill fix it


	3. chapter3: sneaking hope

They looked at each other, Steve at Natasha, Natasha at Steve. He could see her pupils dilate hear her breath quicken she nodded to him ready to see this girl, ready to find out if she could help them. He was ready, considering his quick pour through the file it seemed like the girl had been tortured and experimented on by HYDRA he hoped quietly that she would not hurt them because he didn't want to hurt her.  
Taking a deep breath he got to work on the locks Natasha stashed the file somewhere on her person holstered one gun on her hip. Behind the door was silence besides heavy ragged breathing and a strange clinking sound, it sounded like metal hitting metal. Natasha rushed directions into her com to Clint and Tony to get the jet ready and that they would possibly be bringing another person back with them, she warned the extra might be dangerous and in need of detention. She then produced a knife from somewhere on her pulling the sheath off and letting it fall to the floor.

Quickly she got into position on the side of the doors opposite her blond haired counterpart holding the gun ready to shoot and the knife unsheathed ready to cut flesh if need be. They swung the doors open slowly but in unison as if it were a practiced maneuver both of them sweeping the room with their guns Steve ready to cover them from any projectiles with the shield.  
To their surprise nothing came at them there were no guns no guards nothing threatening at all. They stood at the opening to what looked like a padded cell in a mental asylum. Quietly Natasha whispered,  
“Jesus Christ Steve what is this?”

Steve looked at the room in closer detail everything was white even the small table in the center there was a small bed to the side of the room with thin white sheets he saw and followed a chain that stretched across the room and seemed connected to the huddled figure also covered in white in the opposite corner of the room.  
“What do you want now blin HYDRA sobaki” whispered a hoarse voice from the small figure as she squirmed just like she was trying to become a part of the wall itself.  
Natasha let her weapons drop to her sides “were not HYDRA” she said curtly. The girl looked up her (H/C) strands of stringy greasy hair fell from her face, her skin which should have been a healthy (S/C) was sickly looking in the florescent light. Steve noticed as did Natasha that the long chain was connected by a collar on her neck and clinked at her movements, Steve surmised that was the source of the strange clinking sound they had heard earlier. The girls arms were bound to her body by a strait jacket and her legs were attached together by straps tied on her ankles.

She barred her teeth, “do you think I’ll believe that? Your all liars remember what happened to the last dog who tried to touch me? I’ll do the same to you” she moved threateningly snapping her teeth, it just let them see the dark discolored bruise on her neck it matched the ones covering her legs.  
Natasha looked at Steve and her gaze was like nothing he had ever expected to see from her, her eyes were pleading with him. “God Steve look at her” she said her voice above a whisper looking at the girl brought Natasha memories of her time with the KGB, her training and the suffering.  
Steve looked at the girl “I am captain America you can call me Steve this” he motioned to his partner, “Is Natasha and were going to get you out of here” he paused looking for her reaction, he saw what might have been a glimmer of recognition in her eyes. He hesitated but continued “I’m looking for my friend Bucky you might know him as the winter soldier?” he said voice ending on a questioning note. 

The girl shifted her eyes wide “you’re the one he talked about right? The one he grew up with?” her voice went up an octave almost squeaking.  
Natasha stashed her weapons looking at the girl she asked “will you come with us?” the tone of her voice was serious her eyes did not betray any emotion” We have to go now” she added more to the blond haired man. The girl was quiet for a long minute just looking at the two of them “will you hurt me?” she asked the pleading and the fear, evident in her voice. This time Steve answered “No kid were the good guys” he flashed a toothy grin as the girl looked at them hope creeping into her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh i really should be doing my lab reports but ehhh those can wait (plus i cant focus on my stuff while my neighbors being a loud %$^#@) hope you liked it if there are any errors please send me a PM with the chapter and a small block of where it was and ill fix it...


	4. Chapter 4 walking  hurts

You decided to try and trust these people to see if they could help you find him, your soldier. You let the blond man, the Steve man come closer to you and you held up your neck so he could take the collar off you flinching at his touch you feared he might do to you what the guards had.  
You remembered them grabbing your body to hold you down after you had bitten the red headed man’s nose off the bruises on your exposed legs were distinguishable as hand prints. Just like the one on your neck where one had choked you right through the collar probably was.

This man’s touch was different though it reminded you of your soldiers touch when he was that other man the one that slept inside him. His hands were big and his fingers traced the binding on your neck gently looking for a weak spot. Finding it his warm fingers went between the leather and metal binding and your neck and pulled it apart from behind your head. Next he knelt down and broke the connector between your legs and ripped the arm connectors of the jacket apart, to his apparent surprise you pulled the thing over your head once free to do so and threw it to the other side of the room where it landed with an audible thud. 

Underneath the jacket you wore short white shorts and a bandage around your swelling breasts. The Steve turned a red shade and squeaked looking at your new attire. “I hate that thing” you motioned to the discarded jacket in its resting place and spat at it. 

The red head watched you intently on guard scanning your movements you looked at her “are they dead?” you asked in a voice that told her everything. “The head doctor is the only one left” she replied to you. You nodded thanks to her and she pointed to the corridor where he had been left unconscious, you started to walk but you faltered and almost fell. The Steve man caught you gently and righted you. “Are you ok?” he asked his Chrystal blue eyes full of was that? Worry? Concern? Maybe it was pity who knew “ I’m fine” you said brushing him off “I just haven’t walked much for a while” the stinging in your feet died down and the burning sensation in your muscles started you would be fine soon enough. how long had it been you wondered putting one foot in front of the other, months? Weeks perhaps? Maybe years? Probably not years that was exaggerating. You passed the red head, didn't even look at her really you had a mission you were going to find the doctor and ask him a question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the delay after i put up my first story my relationship took a nose dive and were on a break now ive been very depressed and yeah so this took a bit but here


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry sorry sorry for not updating i was pretty surprised that this seems popular lol anyway i've been pulling lambs left and right we had all the goats kid at once and now we have two large piglet litters with two others on the way AND to add to all that i was dumped friday (the day before valentines day) after a one and a half year relationship because he didn't "love" me anymore *asshole* anyway heres chapter five and six is on its way sorry again!!

As the girl disappeared into the shadows of the corridor, one door swinging in and out with a whooshing sound behind her Natasha called in through the com in her ear “Stark it’s Natasha”

“Hello fair lady how can this genius billionaire help you tonight?” Came a distinctive voice with a hint of a laugh in its voice. 

“We’ve found it please prepare the carrier” she said sharply at Stark. He chuckled quietly she could hear Clint in the background saying something. 

“Shaddap Legolas” and a pause “Rodger dodger well be waiting!” and a “fzzzt” as the connection was cut. 

Natasha looked at Steve his face looked pained she was thinking about going over and putting her hand on his shoulder when they heard a scream. They ran towards it Natasha with her gun ready in a flash Steve had his shield up and ready. 

As they approached the doors they heard a large thud then:  
“Vessel you filthy piece of shit I CREATED you, don’t touch me you traitorous WHORE” they heard the head doctor say. They heard what sounded like a laugh barely audible from what they assumed was the girl. “My name isn’t Vessel remember?” “HE named me HE gave me another name….do you remember it?” she asked. Steve and Natasha looked at each other and opened the doors to find the doctor on his knees with the emaciated girl holding his arms up by his head almost popping the shoulders out of the sockets. Steve motioned to stop her but Natasha put her arm across him stopping him as she turned giving him a pointed look. Steve grimaced and stepped back.  
The girl barely glanced at them as she pulled a bit harder on his arms. “I said do you remember the name he gave me?” The man’s face contorted and he shut his eyes squeaking a quiet but unmistakable “no”

“ he named me (y/n)” you said pulling his arms up hearing one “pop” as he screamed “now” you said coolly “ I’ve got one last question for you” you said putting your foot on his back to emphasize “where is he? Where is my soldier?” you said fighting the urge to kill the man and grinding your bare foot into his backside  
“Nggah Ok OK we don’t know he’s he free we haven’t been able to locate him yet!” He cried tears wetting his cheeks the desperation was evident in his face. You let him go dropping his arms and reuniting your foot to the ground before walking around to face him and crouching down at his level. He rubbed his dislocated shoulder not meeting your eyes. You smiled genuinely and thanked him before deftly reaching out and popping his shoulder back into his socket making him scream like a baby. You stood dusting off your hands and looking in the direction that Steve and Natasha stood  
“I’m done here, I imagine you want him alive correct?” you asked cocking your head to the side and stepping back. 

As you stepped back the man savagely threw himself to his feet trying to land on you, you caught his throat in your hand deftly in one movement and held him there. He choked as you squeezed his trachea until you squished the air passage with a pop and crunch. "oh well" you said wearily looking at the dangling body. You looked at the set of astonished shield agents and said quietly “let’s get out of here” dropping the body to the ground and sinking to your knees unable to stand anymore “I used up all my strength” you said as your bear knees met the floor with a slap of skin and you fell forward into warmth and blackness.


	6. chapter6 : a story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long my grandmother passed away last week and ive been really down so here i hope this makes things better (wooho were out of the HYDRA placey thing)

You woke up to the sound of hushed voices four voices the Steve's voice you heard clearly and the red head. What did she call herself again? You couldn't remember…well it wasn't all that important what was important was where you were you strained your inhuman hearing a bit further until you could clearly hear words. 

“What do we do? I mean she could be dangerous right? We all saw what she did to that doctor.” Said a male voice you didn't recognize. 

“I don’t think she meant to kill him I think it was instinct, he attacked she defended.” Stated the red heads voice almost in a bored tone. 

“She needs IV fluids and emergency treatment they starved her in there” said another unrecognizable male voice with what seemed like strained emotion.   
The same voice again “I read her file so did you Stark she may be like Steve but she’s not immortal not to mention some of the experiments they did…they cut out her organs a couple of times while she was awake.” You remember that you had screamed until you couldn't scream anymore it hurt and burned. 

“I’m going to check on her she might be awake now” said the Steve as you heard a rustle of fabric and the sliding of a door. 

“Your awake I see he said quietly to you as you turned your head hair falling over your face as you moved. You nodded while laying still on the plush surface; you realized you hadn't even looked around the room you’d been to focused on the voices. 

“You gave me a sedative after I passed out” you said accusingly eyes directed at the blonde who stood by the door.

“Yeah Doctor banner thought it was best he said your heart rate was unstable and he needed to calm it down, the effects should wear off very soon on you.” He said making a point to reference your abnormal status. 

You looked at him, in his blue shining eyes and said barely above a whisper “you don’t know where he is either huh?” Your voice broken.  
Steve came closer opening his arms “I don’t know where he is but HE saved me and word was he was looking for you, that’s how we found out about you.”  
You shot up quickly to a sitting position excitedly squeaking “He is?” as your world spun you put your head in your hands and the Steve grabbed your shoulder.   
“Whoa hey careful there your still really weak” 

You leaned into his touch just for a second it felt...well it felt nice yeah his hands were large and callused on your small arms but so warm they reminded you of him of your soldier and how he would be so gentle sometimes to you. No one was that gentle all they ever did was rip and cut and hit and hut always hurt except this man and your soldier.  
“Can you tell me why Bucky would be looking for you? What were you doing there? We read your file but it only lists experiments.” Steve said obviously pained to ask you such a question.

Bucky who was Bucky? Oh right! That was his your soldiers name before all this before hydra he’d told you that once hadn’t he? Yes yes! He had he’d told you one of the few nights they had you two together trying to force you two to get to know each other. that he was remembering bits before hydra and how he wanted to get the two of you out of that place yes you remember…  
You looked at the blond man and told him honestly told him everything. “I’m not sure how old I am or if my original purpose was the one I served but I’ll tell you what I know.” You sighed “wouldn’t your friends want to hear this as well” you could hear them eavesdropping through the door. 

Steve sighed and mouthed “sorry about them” then said louder “c’mon in guys she knows your there anyway.” 

Three men and the red haired women filed into the room the men looked apologetic the women looked tired and bored. All of them sat in chairs around the dimly lit room and looked at you like you were some kind of witch ready to cast a spell. 

“HYDRA was having trouble controlling there asset he became violent and killed quite a few handlers apparently they came up with the idea to create a female companion for him, they decided that they could use a female to procreate the line a selective breeding program if you will. The project was named vessel and from what I could gather it took a long time to produce any results originally there were four of us but they all died by the time I was” you motioned to about the height of your hip “this tall I was the last one left, apparently I’m the only one who integrated the serum into my DNA fully” you stopped and sighed refusing to look at the faces you were sure were filled with disgust. 

You felt a weight on the couch next to you and warm arms suddenly wrapped around you pulling you into Steve’s broad chest. 

“I’m so sorry” he murmured “that’s awful, I’m so sorry you had to live like that”


	7. chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the slow update my lifes been pretty crazy, i graduate COLLEGE! OMG! in may so like finding a job is important! and thats what ive been occupied with! please PLEASE tell me what you think!! i cant really move forward without knowing what you guys think!!

You pushed the Steve man away disgust plain on your features. He looked at you surprised you had pushed his body half way across the cream colored couch with one easy tap.  
“I don’t need your pity” you said looking at all the eyes in the room “I don’t need any of your pity” you said while slowly, menacingly standing up. Even with your short stature the room tensed up you swept your eyes along the room looking at all the men and the two women collected there the other women must have come in at some point during your story. The surprise you felt at not noticing the long haired was eclipsed by the dark and dangerous look in the tall man sitting in the corner wearing a purple button up and light brown crinkled pants. 

You sighed “I need to rest, where can I sleep if I may.” You said the last part icely to the blond man still giving you a shocked expression.  
Without missing a beat a man with strange face-hair stepped up “ive had a room prepped for you its all yours” he said squarly then after he added “but please try and not break the door” he looked at the steve “ those things are expensive” he finished still looking at the blond man who, looked down ruefully in what seemed to be shame. You imagined the large yet creepily gentle man breaking something like a door and It made you smile only a little.  
Chapter seven 

The long haired women who had slipped into the room took you down a large hallway and up an elevator to a large room.

“There are cloths for you in the bathroom and I’ll bring you some food to eat would you like anything in particular?” she asked standing back holding the door.

“No I don’t have any particular food tastes” you said coldly staring her down. Mine as well not make friends here.

“Alright, well take you shopping for new cloths tomorrow if you feel up to it” she said closing the door.

You walked into the large room to notice it was a sitting room with large windows that showed the scene of New York City. You surveyed the room quickly it was dressed with muted yellows, light blues accented with whites. A day bed lay in where you imagined the sunlight would shine during the day and window seats with plush cushions just waiting to be sat in. other plush covered seats littered the carpet covered floor. On the far wall there were book cases filled and standing silently.  
You walked into the adjoining room which was pained with pale yellows, whites and blues. There was a giant bed more large windows and adjoining window seats. The carpet in this room felt like fresh grass it was off white and soft, you leaned down on your heels running your palms through the fibers. You remembered the day you and the soldier had been allowed to be outside during one day in the summer the sun, the smell of sweet meadow grasses and his rough hand holding you so gently. You opened your eyes and moved on to the bathroom, this was again light blues, yellows and white. There was a shower, and a strange looking bath, a large mirror over a double sink. On the sink near a stocked towel rack there lay what looked like pajamas? Those must be the cloths she told you about. You gingerly unhooked the gauze around your breasts it was soiled with blood sweat and probably some serums or organ fluid? Your skin was red and crinkled from the wrapping. Then you removed the gauze wrapped around your waist, the one that acted as your bottoms. 

You walked into the shower carefully turning the water on and turning it to the hottest it would go. Standing under the searing water you could feel your body burning but it covered the fatigue in your muscles. You sighed stretching your limbs along the tiled walls the jets massaging your shoulders. You closed your eyes and relaxed.  
After enjoying the shower you exited and put on the black tee shit and baggy pj pants the shirt was rather tight on your chest but you could ignore it. You exceeded the room to smell a strange sent coming from the room with all the chairs. The long haired woman was setting one of the small tables with a large assortment of food. It smelled delicious and you were excited to see what was there, only for an instant. You didn’t know these people how could you trust them to not sedate you and make tests on you? How can you trust these strangers? You come to the conclusion that you cannot you can’t trust this Steve no more than the long haired currently setting out all that food. You were still standing by the door way looking at the women when she looked up and noticed you.


	8. chaper: 8

She smiled and motioned to the oversized tray “I didn’t know what you’d want so I brought everything I could think of” she gestured at the plates. “I understand” she started then cleared her throat “I understand you don’t trust us,” she paused and looked down. “I want you to be able to at least be comfortable here nobody here will hurt you none of us will do what they did” her voice stressed the words it sounded like her vocal cords might break. 

You looked at her kneeling next to the platters of food. Food that smelled SO good you guessed you could pretend to trust her after all they had taken you from HYDRA they also hadn’t tortured you yet that was good right? You walked over quietly and sat down infrequent of the food. 

“I’m not sure what if you have the appetite that Steve has but if your still hungry or want more of something let me know and I can bring you more. “ 

You sniffed the air aromas making your mouth water,   
“if you’d like I can try any of the food to prove its safe or we can have Steve eat some in front of you so you see someone with your ability’s test it I understand if your hesitant-“

You grabbed the large smelling meat slab and bit into it like an animal the women sitting near you squeaked at your sudden motion. The flavor was amazing and you regretted taking such a large bite you carefully swallowed and looked at the women “what is this?” you asked pointing at the steaming brown seared meat. You knew it was meat but the stuff you’d always been fed was rehydrated military rations nothing like this. 

“It’s steak from a cow, it’s one of the best cuts be careful there’s a bone in there to” she cautioned as you went in for another bite. 

The women watched you carefully “what did they feed you there? If you don’t mind my asking” polite but curious was this women ever not polite? 

“Mess kits” you intoned still chewing a much smaller bite of the “steak” as she called it. “Usually I just had bread and water though; they didn’t want me to have enough energy to fight back.” You stated eyeing a strange yellowish orange dish of round tubes. 

“Baked mac and cheese” the women said pointing to the concoction lightly. 

“by the way” she smiled “I’m pepper” her voice was warm and kind as she put a spoon in the yellow thing and motioned with her hands for you to try it using the spoon.   
You took reached for the spoon while staring at her levelly “y/n” you answered gruffly taking a small sample of the stuff and sniffing it before putting it in your mouth. You moaned it was so good, gooey, crunchy just yum! You tried a lot of things that night the women- pepper told you what each was and sat with you until you were done afterwards she cleaned up your mess and patted you gently on your head.

“Sleep well now I’ll take you out tomorrow to buy some cloths it’ll be nice I haven’t been out much lately.” She smiled down at you and gently stroked your hair before turning to grab the tray.

You had a strong urge to hug her you didn’t know why maybe it was because no one had ever treated you like that before she was so…so.. Gentle with you she treated you like a fragile thing but not in a condescending way but in a way that made you feel well you didn’t really know Happy? Was that it? 

“thank you” you said quietly to her barely above a whisper “thank you for caring for me” you said even quieter as she approached the door she turned back and smiled at you reaching for the lights “that’s what I’m here for, sleep well y/n and let me know if you need anything.” She closed the door gently and walked out you could hear her feet treading lightly along the carpet.

You turned around and went to the bed your stomach was full (since you had eaten everything available on the platter) and you were still so tired, you knew you hadn’t been drugged at least not yet. You curled under the covers and slept peacefully. You dreamt of the soldier and sharing the food you ate with him in the dream you were so happy and so was he you didn’t even want to wake up. 

Note: I want the reader to come off as rather childish and pepper to be more motherly I feel like a person put in the situation that “you” are currently in would push you to look for comfort in a parental sense seeing as “you” have never had that. At the same time I feel like pepper would try to show the reader kindness and seeing that she doesn’t know much of anything past the walls of hydra and her experiments pepper would see her as more of a child and would try and care for her as that and not the grown women she physically is.


	9. chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the time it took me to type this its feels really short....

It had been two weeks since you had been brought to the tower you’d met all of the avenger’s and most seemed to like you though you had trouble getting over your initial distrust you were slowly accepting them as exactly who they were and that was who they presented themselves as from the beginning. Steve (as you’d begrudgingly started calling him) was very attentive to you which was uncomfortable for you to say the least you tried to understand why he was so clingy I mean you were his only link to his best friend which he thought he had lost however tenuous the line was you were the closest connection to Bucky that he had.  
You’d been allowed a lot of freedom mostly because pepper had insisted you be allowed to do as you pleased if anyone fought her shed simply say “if you confine her your no better than HYDRA.” And that always ended any argument. 

Tony had given you a credit card a flimsy plastic wafer which, seemed to be the currency of the realm he said it was so you could taste the city. Of course Steve had to come with you anywhere you went for your “protection” and always hovered close, he wasn’t very helpful though when you had questions.   
It was a Wednesday when Steve insisted you go out to the city with him “I want to show you something” he’d said he was too excited you were very wary of him and had argued for hours until a firm look from pepper had silenced any further arguments she had picked out a pretty dress with flowers on it while smiling a strange smile, you got the feeling she knew something you didn’t…

The Steve took you to a small place with big posters everywhere you wanted to stop and look at them but he grabbed your hand is his large warm one. You marveled at how much bigger his hands were then yours and how warm they were as he pulled you along quickly a strange giddy smile on his face you didn’t understand your surroundings until he led you to a large room with a big screen. It was a movie he’d dragged you here for some stupid movie? You turned to him as he chose two seats in the middle of the middle row in the theater. He still had your hand in his and pulled you into the seat next to him using the leverage of your captured appendage.   
“I know you’ve been reading a lot and I saw they made one of the books you liked into a movie so I uh wanted to show it you” he said his cheeks turning a dusty pink. You wanted to point out that didn’t explain the secrecy or why no one else could come. You had a sneaking suspicion this was very alike to a “date” but you decided for once to not fight him he was doing this to be nice to you and you’d let him win this round. As the previews started you were surprised to find that (favorite book) one book you had devoured then hungered for more was the basis of the movie. Steve ran out in order to “grab some pop and food” leaving you alone in the theater you were so absorbed in the movie you failed to notice the other man in all black slip in and stand there hesitating as if trying to decide if he should approach….


	10. note for readers

Hey guys i wanted to apologize for my absence i've been working a night shift and a lot (like over 120 hours every pay cycle) my boss is skimping on my checks and has broken the agreement he made when he hired me. now im required to run three eight hour shifts in a row three hours apart in order to get a day off and he wants me to come in during the day when i sleep because i work all night and do extra stuff and is upset that i told him no (seriously asshole much?) . I've also managed to adopt three orphaned kittens which hasn't made it any easier (two are currently draped across my lap making typing difficult). i know this is no excuse and i should be updating more often i will try harder but i'm also trying to figure out what to do with the story? i want to push steve and the reader together but throw bucky in there as well and i wasn't sure when would be a good time for bucky to show up if that makes sense i want steve to have a legitimate time frame to develop feelings for the reader before i throw bucky in there and start with his problems! so yeah! i might rewrite the chapter i posted just now not sure what do you think? let me know!


	11. chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so i will be adding another chapter probably tomorrow I am finally after six weeks getting days off and i quit my job today ill be going home at the end of december. As per requested im trying to show the readers interaction with the avengers more fluffy next chapter with darkness and smut to follow be ready be warned!

Chapter 8  
Tony stood on the balcony overlooking New York City it was getting close to dusk people were still bustling to and fro but from here they looked more like ants then people. He squeezed the cup absently in his hand he hadn’t even had a sip of the expensive scotch he swirled the liquid no one had bothered him for a couple house seemed like they were just as nervous as he was pepper hadn’t been able to sit still and was currently running on the treadmill in the personal gym one level down. He sighed his head sinking down below his shoulders arms propped against the railing, looking down he wondered what had gotten him into this situation? The kid- (your name) was out with Steve seeing some movie it was peppers idea. He stood stretching muscles that ached, he liked Steve and the kid as a couple but he also thought it was a bad idea I mean that was inviting the winter soldier to kill them all wasn’t it?

Clint and Thor had taken a liking to the girl mostly because she could and would drink them under the table being a super soldier she never felt the effects but she was willing to go along with it unlike Steve to placate the boredom that plagued everyone. Thor even called to Asgard and had gotten some drink that according to him made grown men faint at the smell. He hadn’t used it yet, had said there was a time and place and it was as of yet not at hand whatever that meant.  
Natasha was cold to the girl but she had taken her under her wing and was teaching her the ways of the female assassin when asked why she’d just said “girls gotta take care of herself” Natasha was teaching strategy, cunning and using femininity instead of bruit strength. The kid was also developing a healthy amount of snark and sarcasm Tony smiled he was pretty proud of that. 

Bruce walked over and put a hand on Tony’s shoulder  
“Hey they should be getting back soon” 

“Yeah” Tony said “I know” 

“You nervous?” Bruce intoned gently for the incredible hulk the guy was really good at reading people. 

“If I said no would you believe me?” 

Bruce gave him a wry smile and didn’t answer just then pepper came onto the balcony somehow shed found the time to shower and change from her workout her hair was still wet and she was dressed in dark blue jeans that hugged her legs the whole way down and a basic tee-shirt. 

“ Come on let’s go wait with Natasha Steve should be bringing (your name) home any minute now” 

The three headed into the room hoping the girl would agree with their plans.


	12. chapter 11 icecream in the park?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so ive got like nine cats in my house right now like ive got my three and then moma raven had five kittens upstairs so thats one big one and five mini ones upstairs and the dog hates it he wants them gone poor sammy! anyway heres a fluffy chapter like it? did i do a good Steve R.? (damn id love to do that boy good but wouldnt we all?)

Steve had dragged you to the park after the movie he had insisted on buying the two of you ice-cream at some shop and you were currently sitting on a bench I mean who were you to turn down a free frozen treat?   
“So” Steve started already done with his cone of vanilla, the flavor fit him it was nice but it was plain and sweet, no bite.   
“Soo” you drawled before finishing the last of your (favorite flavor) cone and throwing away the napkin you’d used in the trash can across the path and a little to the left of where you sat. Ice cream was new to you (like so many other things) but it was an exciting treat and you enjoyed it when you had the chance.  
Steve scratched his head “What do you think you want to do once things you know…..settle down”  
You stretched your legs forward and folded your arms so your hands were behind your head as you looked up at the blue sky. This was a question of contention for everyone it seemed Tony and Bruce who were currently making lesson plans and getting you caught up to “kids” your age, wanted you to continue your education into college. Natasha didn’t seem to care and Clint seemed to be hinting at a babysitting job? Pepper had just smiled and told you to do what made you happy because you deserved it.   
“I dunno it’s a lot to think about and I don’t know if I can interact fully with the outside world. Besides I bet S.H.I.E.L.D. won’t let me go far.” You sighed you really didn’t want to talk about this right now.   
“What do you mean?” Steve asked you looking quite confused.  
You sighed the clouds looked so puffy you remember Tony and Bruce explaining to you that they weren’t something you could touch that instead of being made out of cotton they were made out of moisture it had confused you so badly they’d rigged up a machine that created a cloud in the lab for you to touch, it was a painfully disappointing lesson to learn. Returning to the conversation you intoned “You know I’m not human I’m not like you or any of these people” you motioned to the people playing in a clearing through the trees. “I was created like a program or a machine and now I have no purpose” you said quietly giving a voice to the thoughts that had been plaguing you since you’d woken up in New York for the first time.  
“That’s not what I meant” Steve said hurriedly sitting so he was facing you on the bench “(your name) shield, they don’t know your” he huffed air “As far as shields concerned the ONLY living subject we found in Switzerland was a kidnapped orphan with amnesia named (name) as far as they know the project was deemed a failure and you were executed.” He explained vehemently, you snapped your head up as he spoke looking him in the eyes searching his face. You’d learned from watching Steve that when he lies his left eye twitched slightly you expected to see it twitch but, but it didn’t which either meant he’d fixed his tell without being told it existed or he was telling the truth.   
“You lied to them?” you asked incredulous and disbelieving.  
“We all did, well technically” he answered quietly.   
“What do you mean?” you asked curiosity eating away at you now.  
“well uh um ah-“ He fumbled blushing.  
“STEVE What do you mean?” you asked saying his name like an angry mother.   
“Well your, uh your not just a project any more, you know? Now you’re a girl with hopes, dreams and a passion for books and stuff. The “experiment” we found in Switzerland is, that girl is well she’s gone you’re a different person now” he stumbled on his words as he looked at his feet face flushing a crimson color.   
“We made a vote and we all decided when we found you that you deserved a new lease on life, that you’d suffered enough and we could do something to make you know it better” he looked up at you now he was blushing and looking like a child caught doing something he shouldn’t. and his face fell as he beheld your gaze glazed with fresh tears.


	13. chapter 12: heeers daddy

“Hey stop that” steve intoned reaching for you.

“Steve im not human why would you people do anything for me?” you asked grasping your emotions tightly in a figurative hand. 

“What do you mean (name)? You’re just as human as me” Steve looked at you pulling his hand away complete confusion on his face.

You blurted out a short laugh “Like you? We both know that’s not true.” 

Steve looked at you even more confused (If that was possible) “(name) I don’t understand what do you mean” his brow was creased a clear sign he honestly didn’t understand you. 

“Steve you read my file didn’t you? You know don’t you?” you could feel your voice shake you clenched your hands in your lap, hard. 

“What? That you were created? So what? Your still you that doesn’t change anything.” 

“Not that you KNOW what I’m talking about don’t you?” you stood over him wringing your hands probably drawing blood with your nails. 

He looked down into his hands “That doesn’t define you” he said voice cracked but you couldn’t figure out what the emotion was, was it fear? Hatred? Perhaps he was ashamed. 

“Say it” you choked out he words.

“Red skull was…” he trailed off unable to finish.

“My father” you voice finally broke this was the first time you’d ever said it “Red Skull was my father” you said finally sinking back to your seat. It was finally out in the open something you’d buried for all these years in the back of your mind, you were the spawn of a monster. Silence stretched for a second as you sat looking at your feet tears blurring your vision, how long had it been since you had honestly cried? Years you decided it had to have been the day the soldier had taken your innocence that had been a long time ago.  
After the silence became too much to bear you felt warm fingers under your chin as your face was tilted to Steve you could have fought it probably could have won but why bother? He was just going to confirm what you already knew, you were a monster and abomination, you shouldn’t exist. 

“Listen to me” he said his face very close, his eyes staring straight into your (color) ones, his breath tickled your lips, he was so close. “Just because you have his DNA it doesn’t mean your anything like him, your smart, your strong, and you have a good heart even after what they did to you, you haven’t even tried to exact revenge that takes a lot.”

“I killed the head doctor” you pointed out. 

“Natasha would have done it anyway” he added he seemed to be getting closer to you.

“(Name) your amazing don’t let what they did define you” his eyes looked down but he didn’t move away from you. “(Name) your special to me” he looked back at you. 

A bitter smile crossed your face “I’m a monster Steve I was created for no other purpose then to keep your friend in line and spread my legs and now? Now what am I? I’m just a tool that out lived its usefulness.” 

Steve shook his head “I wish you could see how much more than that you are, maybe when we first found you that’s all you were, all you could be. But things have changed your so much more now.” 

He was still so close his fingers still holding your chin you could feel the heat of his skin radiating towards you all you wanted was to let him wrap you up like a child in the movies and accept the comfort and reassurance he was offering but, you couldn’t that isn’t who you are. 

“Steve I-“ you were cut off as he brought you into a crushing hug your face pressed against his chest smelling his sent, feeling his chest under your hands. 

“(Name)” your name rumbled through his chest as he held you “It’s okay I’m here I’m not leaving I-“ he seemed to hesitate then finished “I believe in you” on a sigh you had a feeling that might not have been what he wanted to say but the warm reassuring embrace of his hug was just to comforting and you let the thought slip away.  
In a quiet almost childlike voice you asked him “I don’t disgust you? You don’t hate me because of it?” he pulled back arms on your shoulders elbows straight and looked you in the eyes again for what felt like the millionth time today. 

“Your genes don’t determine who you are neither does your upbringing only YOU decide that and your nothing like him.” He said quietly.  
He was wrong of course, you had a sadistic side you liked killing that’s why you had killed so many guards, the ones who came into your little padded cells at night thinking they could snatch a quickie, thinking you wouldn’t fight back. You could have just injured them but instead you had tortured them until their lungs couldn’t make noise any more then when their friends had come to help them you’d killed them to. But you wouldn’t tell Steve that you wanted to be this sweet girl he thought you were an innocent bathed in blood instead of the women drowning. Maybe you could be the girl he thought you were? Maybe it was worth a try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry sorry sorry for the late update I was almost killed again at work so i put in my notice and gave my boss three months notice (told him id leave at the end of december) but then he called me and told me i had like a week and change to get out of my house and go back to mass (after two months of not telling me jack shit) might i add that i had no friends no family and very little money because he cut back my hours so my mom had to come out and help me pack up an ENTIRE house in two days then move before the ice storm hit! With three cats and a 60lb dog to boot! AH! so i am back in mass working on my will to continue the story. Please i understand my grammar isnt perfect but id prefer if people dont point it out its a sore spot i have dyslexia and ive struggled with the ins and outs of grammar my whole life. If my father trying to beat it into me for some 20 years didn't help neither will rude messages (not all have been rude but some were). Thank you and i promise to try and do better.


End file.
